Okay, I’m Ready to Change – Now what?
This is a great question and I would like to say it’s that easy, and when I went through it I thought it was going to be the easiest undertaking in my life. Well, surprise. Change is the most difficult undertaking you can experience. The reason is we have been living a life created by others. This life we are living is that of our parents, teachers, religious and political leaders, our friends and family, corporations, advertisers and news agencies. The life we call ours is a sham. It isn’t ours at all but the conglomeration of all our learnings, and we actually have no clue who we really are. We are the result of the learnings we have been taught. If we are going to change we must understand the who we claim to be, strip away all of our learnings and beliefs we use to define this person we claim to be, and begin the arduous task of identifying who we actually are.
Then why not burst my bubble some more?
You want to embark on a journey of self-renewal but have no idea what to do. Up to now, you have lived a life created for you and you call this your life’s path. You have seen your life’s path laid out before you and you have worked hard trying to achieve the goals that would allow you arrive at your paths end. Well guess what? That ain’t it. You have been walking someone else’s path and to begin creating your own path you must step off of the path you have been walking. This will be your first experience at change and you are about to discover just how difficult it can be.
You will discover and formulate many questions such as: “How do I do this?” “What specifically do I need to do to change?” “I understand what you are saying, but what do I have to do to stop falling back into my old ways?” “Why in the hell couldn’t I have left things alone and just lived the life I had?”
The only way I can answer that these is, change is as individual as each and every one of us. I can set up classes (individual or group) hold seminars or fill a stadium, but the fact remains change is an individual process and experience. We all know of twins and the common response to them is “they look identical, yet they are as different as night and day.” This is because we have different DNA, different personalities, and formulate our experiences differently, change is different for each of us. Each of our perceptions, fears, and beliefs are different and the experience of change will be different for each of us.
To recognize we need to change to reduce the stresses in our lives, or to improve our health, or to simply feel we want to have more good days than bad, is the first step. But to change is an extremely difficult process to comprehend because it is so specific to each individual. We all come from different backgrounds; we all come from a different place in our lives; and we are all going to different places. We all have different perceptions, personalities and ways we handle life. Our backgrounds are different as has been our education, upbringing, and belief systems.
The best way to experience how to change is to first accept we need to change. You can study with me, attend seminars, or read books by others. But the most important thing to do is ensure you are forced to address the issues so you can’t simply avoid the questions, this is to encouraging you to face yourself. The fact remains that commitment is tough and will be the primary issue you will face. Most journeys of self-renewal take place in the mirror, but in lieu of giving you nothing to go on, here are some things to think about as you prepare yourself for your journey of change:
- Identify all of the fears you have, why you have them, and if you faced them, what would be the worst thing that could happen to you. All fears are learned and can be unlearned.
- Do you hate? What do you hate? Where and when did you begin this hatred? All hate has been learned and what you learned can be unlearned.
- Eliminate the labels (titles) you use to describe yourself. You are not a political affiliation. You are not a religious affiliation. You are not a professional affiliation. You are not affiliated with a race as the human race is the only race.
- Look at how thickheaded and thin skinned you are and ask yourself why. Why is it important I have to be correct? Why do I feel I have to defend my position when someone disagrees with me? Why do I get my feelings hurt so easily?
- Define what role ego plays in your life. How has ego helped you? How has ego hurt you? What would life be like without ego?
- What is the difference between ego and inspiration? Would you prefer to be inspirational or egotistical? Which benefits you the most?
- How the system of problem, resolution, solution and their affects have on your life? Do you recognize the role advertising has on your life and who advertising is focused on? Why we fall victim to advertising all the time?
- Accept some simple basics:
- You are happy: You have just wrapped yourself in so much unhappiness (yours and the unhappiness of others) you can’t see you are happy.
- You are content: You just keep listening to ego’s wants and desires which you have been taught, and believe, they are yours. Therefore, you don’t see yourself as content.
- You are complete: You have just been taught, or convinced, that you are not complete and material things, or other people, will complete you. They won’t.
- There is no superiority among human beings. We are all the same and individuality has been introduced to separate us and give the illusion superiority does exist and must be defended.
- If any of the ideas you define as belief systems preach fear, hatred and discrimination, stop the belief system.
- Nationalism is a ploy to separate us from the rest of humanity. It has been presented as a justification: “National pride.” What it actually does is convince us to build and protect borders and to declare one people’s superiority over another. Don’t succumb to this false picture of patriotism. Pride is the way ego is used to divide us, not pull us together.
- Helping ourselves is the first step in helping others. If we can rid ourselves of all the affects of our upbringing, education and belief systems, we become whole. We are then better able to help others because we gave up all the biases, discrimination, fear and hatred that has, up to now, guided us on the path we have been traveling. We get to realize we have been walking someone else’s path, the path others wanted us to walk. Just stop and begin to lay down your own path. A path of your own choosing.
I am here to help you. I am here you make you think. Self-renewal requires you to take a good look at yourself and, if you harbor any of the above, you have a lot of work to do to change because your learnings, ego and belief systems will fight you every step of the way.